It was with a heavy load on his heart that Mayen left the cabin of the watchtower. Though neither Allos nor Rednon asked specifically about Mildoyest, het felt guilty. Replaying in his head the scene many times, searching for what would have been a better answer, he became distracted and annoyed: nothing sounded better than what he had said. Instead of coming to the conclusion he did the best he could, which would have been correct, he became bitter and confused. Looking at the sky, he emptied his heart with whispers which were almost more visible by the mist coming from his mouth than it was audible.

-“I did my best; please show me you care?”

Three sides fought inside of him. First was his shame, accusing him of turning a past mistake into a pattern: he had kept the nightmare the day before his brother’s wedding a secret, and now he held another secret. According to this point of view, Mayen saw himself as disloyal towards his family and his village. Second was his insecurity, telling him not to disobey his father and to keep what happened in Mildoyest a secret. It appealed to him by acquitting him from hiding valuable information to Rednon and Allos. Insecurity raged at shame, calling him a coward who preferred feeling good rather than being good. But insecurity had an unspoken flaw, it demanded of God to reward him; after all, did Father Avaron not ordered both him and his father to remain silent about this? The third voice, however, was either honour or valour. It told Mayen to do this for Claörgh. Without any hesitation, shame came in and attacked, calling it a hypocrite, a manure attempting to smell like roses. Insecurity, instead of helping the third voice on the basis of sharing the need to remain silent, ordered the adolescent to stay focused on his family and himself. Honour or valour silenced shame’s and insecurity’s arguments: they were both selfish and without love.

“I know you are Kastosian, and that our people have been unfriendly many times in the past, but maybe tonight you will think before accusing us of all you can think of. Normally, a goblin would tell you that you would owe him back for saving your skin, but I don’t.”