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Pampered Consort of the Fragrant Orchard
Ch. 074.4: A Girl's Worry (4)
Translator : MoonWhisperer's, TWIP
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2 years ago
I think arranged marriages are only an evil thing if the parties involved (ie: bride and groom) can't say no and can't communicate freely before the wedding contract is signed. If they're more an arrangement made sincerely by all parties and the bride and groom have a chance to talk and be sure they aren't being defrauded by an insincere person then there's no reason why they couldn't work out. In fact, considering that there will likely be more consideration of the compatibility of the families, and situations of the couple, they might have a better chance for people who are introverted/have a hard time dating than if they were left to their own devices.
2 years ago
I think the fate of arranged marriages depends more on the character and decency if the people involved, which also implies sincere mindset and openness/willingness. Affection can be nurtured in the same way you can become closer friends with someone the more time you see them/accompany them but genuine affection depends more on trust and sincerity. I imagine JenShaoBao's parents must be kind, respectful and sincere that has potential (not guarantee) to build affection, loyalty and passion rather than some possible cases of disinterest or resentment/disdain that can be encountered between opposing personalities or perspectives on values ( such as someone of upstanding moral character choose to commit their sincerity and attention to towards the marriage but was coupled with a faithless, disinterested party it would be an uphill battle or even near impossible for a loving marriage to come to fruition, but both parties being reasonably committed with sincerity and attention to each other could make lovingly affectionate marriage a more likely possibility ..... Especially in the face of pretentiousness where either men or women may hid their true character in order to gain a desired benefit/outcome rather than be honest and genuine ..... How many polygamous women feign their virtuosness about welcoming more wives/concubines as per misogynistic societal norms for acceptance but deep down want genuine 1v1 commitment and love ..... Confucianism-era 'ideal' of womenly virtues and duties to husband (father/son too) opened the floodgates for hypocrisy and pretentiousness to genuine personas (polite manners for courtesy and mitigating social interactions is one thing and not deeply altering towards a person's values/beliefs most times, but the desperation of virtuous reputation for marriage and then compelled to welcome other or further marriages/romantic affairs despite genuine feelings could more likely than not to give rise to disasterous psychosis and neuroticism, let alone adding the mentality of strict caste hierarchy ....
Glad to know some cases of arranged marriage works out, but for the most part many that still exist are vile ( saw a human rights article about a 14year old sold in marriage to a 70 year old man .... Her family did it for money, girl is pregnant but how long will that husband survive .... Husband isn't even highly affluent, just a village girl to another villager in Yemen or Mali, or various other nations with high poverty and low development)